Post by Frank Zito on Dec 2, 2006 4:04:13 GMT -5
The old man who warns the kids that they are doomed.
You couldn't have a respectable horror flick without an aging prophet of doom. He can usually found lurking outside of gas stations and abondoned campgrounds that mysteriously burnt to the ground years before. Of course the kids always laugh at the poor guy and ignore his warnings before wondering into the woods to be slaughtered.
The slut who wants to have sex all the time.
One of my favorites. These girls are usually thoughtful enough to strip naked before getting killed. They also provide comic relief with their constant cock cravings. Do not confuse the slut who wants to have sex all the time with the "evil" girl who does not have sex with anybody. I will discuss her soon enough.
The ugly girl that becomes a hot looking slut.
This girl is dumpy looking with glasses. The other girls tease her about her virginity. Finally, at a key moment, she unleashes "the inner whore" and becomes irresistible to the boys of the group. She then has her pick of the litter, climaxing in a sloppy drunken fuck fest and double impalement via spear.
The "evil" girl.
MMMMMMM. I love me some evil women. This is the bitch who torments our hero/herione. She teases the boys of the group with her unattainable sexuality. She plots and schemes to ruin the lives of all people around her. She reminds you of all the cunts you went to high school with and you can't wait to see her eviscerated. This girl is usually one of the last to die.
The survivor chick.
You can usually tell right away who this will be. She's good looking, but not too much of a skank. She has a love interest in the film but doesn't have sex with him. (usually) She has a dark past, usually a childhood encounter that predetermines her destiny. She will take a beating but will stand tall when all is said and done. Or, she'll slip into screaming, deranged insanity.
The grumpy, inept police officer.
He usually sports an impressive belly, and sometimes a sweet Burt Reynolds style mustache. He shows up long enough to warn the kids about making too much noise or trespassing near "that old farm house". Sometimes they are killed off immediately, other times they disappear until the end of the film where they will return to save the day, or make some sort of ironic statement to the bloodcaked survivor chick.
You couldn't have a respectable horror flick without an aging prophet of doom. He can usually found lurking outside of gas stations and abondoned campgrounds that mysteriously burnt to the ground years before. Of course the kids always laugh at the poor guy and ignore his warnings before wondering into the woods to be slaughtered.
The slut who wants to have sex all the time.
One of my favorites. These girls are usually thoughtful enough to strip naked before getting killed. They also provide comic relief with their constant cock cravings. Do not confuse the slut who wants to have sex all the time with the "evil" girl who does not have sex with anybody. I will discuss her soon enough.
The ugly girl that becomes a hot looking slut.
This girl is dumpy looking with glasses. The other girls tease her about her virginity. Finally, at a key moment, she unleashes "the inner whore" and becomes irresistible to the boys of the group. She then has her pick of the litter, climaxing in a sloppy drunken fuck fest and double impalement via spear.
The "evil" girl.
MMMMMMM. I love me some evil women. This is the bitch who torments our hero/herione. She teases the boys of the group with her unattainable sexuality. She plots and schemes to ruin the lives of all people around her. She reminds you of all the cunts you went to high school with and you can't wait to see her eviscerated. This girl is usually one of the last to die.
The survivor chick.
You can usually tell right away who this will be. She's good looking, but not too much of a skank. She has a love interest in the film but doesn't have sex with him. (usually) She has a dark past, usually a childhood encounter that predetermines her destiny. She will take a beating but will stand tall when all is said and done. Or, she'll slip into screaming, deranged insanity.
The grumpy, inept police officer.
He usually sports an impressive belly, and sometimes a sweet Burt Reynolds style mustache. He shows up long enough to warn the kids about making too much noise or trespassing near "that old farm house". Sometimes they are killed off immediately, other times they disappear until the end of the film where they will return to save the day, or make some sort of ironic statement to the bloodcaked survivor chick.
